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Wednesday, July 8th, 2009
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12:32 pm
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My phone charger is here!
...but I forgot my own phone number. Here's the conversation I had with Fido trying to get it back, wherein I can't figure out which one of us comes off looking stupider:
Fido Rep: Thanks for calling Fido, how can I help you?
Me: Hi, this is really stupid but I changed my phone number a couple weeks ago, haven't used it since, and didn't write it down anywhere and now I forget what it is. Do you think you could you help me?
FR: Maybe...
(awkward silence)
Me: ... um, hello?
FR: Just a second, I'm just bringing up your file. What's your name, etc?
(I give him personal details including my name, date of birth, street address, postal code, favorite color, sexual preferences, etc)
FR: Sorry, there are like 45 accounts under that name so I don't think I'm going to be able to help you today.
Me: ....what? Ok, could you tell me what I should do then, because in the meantime... I don't know my own phone number... and that's retarded.
FR: Let me see if I can *jargon jargon jargon jargon*
Me: ...Okie doke.
(elevator music for 15 minutes of my life I will never get back)
FR: Alright sir, we tried *jargonjargonjargonjargon* and I'm afraid there's no way we're going to be able to help you today, there are just too many Mark Wellses in the system.
Me: ...Are you serious? Even with my name, my street address, my date of birth, my postal code, and my area code, there is no way for you to narrow it down?
FR: No, unfortunately I would have to open each account, look at the details, then close it.
Me: Yeah, that must be very time consuming for you.
I hung up at that point. Then I just started guessing numbers, and got it on the first try. Which is really embarrassing, but now I have a cell phone again.
FML!
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, July 4th, 2009
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12:43 am
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Monday, June 29th, 2009
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11:03 pm - July predictions
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Wednesday, June 10th, 2009
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2:21 am - good thing I don't have kids
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Uh.... ok, why do those go in the same sentence?
As an aside, I'm trying out Skitch for screencaps now. So far it is amazing and exactly what a mac app should be, and it's free??....I mean really? Does it want my firstborn? (...'cause actually if that would prevent the anal irritation, I'd consider it)
Win:
-beautiful
-fast and intuitive
-free
-amazingly streamlined uploading to FTP, flickr, mobileMe, or skitch.com with charming sfx
Lose:
-Arrow tool vaguely phallic
-no Speech-bubble tool; I suck at doing these by hand!
-icon is gayest thing I've ever seen. like.... dag.
I will gladly Skitch again to demonstrate the last two points:
In a good way?
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(4 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009
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7:39 pm
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I'm officially freaking out now. How am I going to say all these goodbyes?
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(comment on this)
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Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009
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10:49 pm
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7:40 pm - Family
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Saturday, May 23rd, 2009
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7:25 pm
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It's been a very intense day and I have to leave RIGHT NOW to bring burgers to an amazing guy, but before I go let me just share something from my chinese horoscope, which has a new feature today:
blah blah blah. So many things are funny about this, I will let you find them all. Please circle them in red and have them on my desk by tomorrow morning. I will just say that, unlike the rest of the horoscope, it seems to be written by someone who speaks english, and thus loses all credibility.
Also I want to mention that my wallet fell out of my pocket today on St. Catherine, it had my debit and visa cards, my bc health care card, my SIN card, and 150 bucks in cash in it. After running around like a madman for hours in the sun, I got home an email from a lady who found it. She returned it to me with all the cash inside. Best day ever.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, May 14th, 2009
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3:05 am
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I'm staying up. I looked through all 550 of Val's photos on facebook, and now I'm reading old blog entries from when I was 20. This blog, it just keeps giving. Here's a gem:
"There is a fine line between good butt humor and bad butt humor.
I like to think that line is made of poop. You know, like the thin kind, when you're stressed out or whatever."
I'm just not that funny anymore! What happened?
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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1:32 am - In my room
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Our apartment shares a courtyard with about a dozen neighbors, and most of them are pretty low-key, but if there is ever even a hint of noise past 10pm, Old Man River (as we call him) comes out onto his 3rd floor balcony and scolds with threats of cop summoning. He's pretty consistent.
The smell of pot smoke, accompanied by a chorus of dude-voices, just started wafting into my window a few minutes ago, from the courtyard. The anticipation is killing me! I hate/love waiting for Old Man River to inevitably appear. Oh, when will he scold? I can't bear it!
Unrelatedly, I just assessed my lower-back-hair situation in the mirror, and well, there have been... developments since the last time I looked. I'm a big fan of aging in general, but I don't understand why puberty has to persist into my early mid-late twenties. Like really. Its an awkward age. Still.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, May 13th, 2009
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2:44 am
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From my chinese horoscope today:
"Go on a trace element cure, drink sage infusions and put wheat germ in your yogurts."
OMG STORY OF MY LIFE
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Friday, May 8th, 2009
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12:18 am
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Thursday, May 7th, 2009
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10:53 am
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Monday, May 4th, 2009
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6:15 pm - It's Official
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Wednesday, April 29th, 2009
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4:12 am
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DONE SCHOOL.
So proud of myself for not quitting, I could actually cry. It's really the largest accomplishment of my life so far, which may not be that much for someone my age, but I still feel terrific about it.
Can't wait to see what's next!
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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2:41 am - Stirs in you whorescope
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I just took a short break from the the insanity of analyzing and comparing Beethoven Symphonies to check my chinese horoscope, which (as I keep saying) is always good for a laugh.
I decided to take a screenshot so you can see that I am not just making this shit up:
Don't think for a second that this is an unusual forecast. This horoscope routinely tells me that I am going to suffer constant diarrhea, get "Aids", and die. And it usually tells me to eat stewed fruit and drink herbal remedies, like that's gonna somehow cure my DiarrheAids.
In all seriousness, I also read it because it improves my life. Horoscopes don't have to be real for them to work. Who doesn't need to be reminded to show tolerance and understanding?
I love my life.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, April 27th, 2009
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1:59 pm
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This is me when it comes to school work, paper writing, and research of any kind:
I used to feel like I was a pretty smart guy, but it's becoming more and more obvious that I'll probably end up working in a coal mine somewhere and that's the best I should hope for with a mind like mine.
Coffee doesn't help me focus, it just gives me panic attacks and makes me poop a lot (which is actually a plus!)
I would give anything not to have to do all this boring work.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, April 25th, 2009
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12:52 pm - Allegri Miserere
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I just realized why the music I'm singing in a concert tonight sounds so familiar.
It's on the soundtrack of Civilization IV. I've been nerding to it for months!
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, April 23rd, 2009
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11:54 pm - Twitter
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Let's establish tenses, shall we?
I tweet.
I twote.
I have twat.
current music: Electro Man - Calvin Harris
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009
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10:27 am
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Happy birthday, me!
...and I guess the earth.
Also there is a TRIFORCE in today's Earth Day google graphic:
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, April 20th, 2009
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11:57 am - What's next, interracial marriage? ..............!!!!
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Wednesday, April 15th, 2009
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5:52 pm
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Perched on a telephone wire in the courtyard, a squirrel is twitching and thinking insane squirrel thoughts. Clinging to the banister of a spiral staircase a few feet up, another squirrel is secretly watching the first squirrel, probably plotting something.
On a fire escape across the courtyard, a tabby cat is secretly watching the second squirrel, with that hilarious look of torture/delight that cats have when they're secretly watching squirrels.
I'm standing in the kitchen, pressed against the sliding glass doors and absorbing sunlight with that weird look of torture/delight I get when I'm secretly watching cats and not writing term papers.
Why does life have to have a meaning? Isn't it enough just to be here?
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, April 13th, 2009
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8:48 pm
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6:58 pm
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Internet marketing makes me lol so hard sometimes. Consider the most recent bombardments:
Clearly they have some vague idea here of the demographic they're reaching, yet they still manage to be so far from the mark that it's just hilarious. Is that Enya?
START YOUR JOURNEY NOW, MY LORD!
Wow, does that ever not look like a game I'd want to play.
Somehow it's still less ridiculous than my MSN / Sympatico news feed, which thinks I'm a middle-aged woman with weight-loss issues in need of 10 ways to please my man.
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, April 8th, 2009
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7:53 pm
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Spring in Montreal is when all the glaciers melt (today's snowfall notwithstanding), and all the little treasures hidden within them are revealed!
Liberated are a whole season's worth of discarded metro tickets, cigarette butts, lost mittens, cigarette butts, copious dogshit, cigarette butts, and cigarette butts. And also, on my street (and perhaps others), dozens of used condoms. Hundreds! Which begs the question...
Who is fucking in the street?
Safely?
In the dead of winter?
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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